One bad decision & everything ruined … โœ๏ธ

Just about to sleep and suddenly the phone rang up,

It was not usual that someone calls me this much late at night, So my heart beating fast, as because my negativity seems to be at an extent level.

Well, I pick up the phone and the voice came, “Hey are you awake ?”…

Me : I was like – seriously?

Hey, I need to talk to you…

Me : Hii, Am I dreaming or it seriously my BFF on the other side, I am not getting the whole scenario right now.

Because it’s literally her first night.

Me : Hii, Late night what happens babes ? Everything Okay ?

“I say in a dull voice and her voice also very low, like I can’t hear properly”

Nothing bud it’s 12’O clock and I don’t know where Rehan is …

Again it made me shock and laugh at the same time because I’m not having any idea where her husband is…

So, as in reply, I said maybe he is outside’

& again in reply, she said – No he is not in the home.

Me : Do you call him?

Yes, and he said that I am coming in an hour.

Me : Don’t you ask where is he?

I ask, and he said to lock the door and sleep as he had another key to open the door.

Me : What the hell is this!

My blood is boiling and my sleep is fully gone.

“I told them I don’t want to marry but some promises and responsibilities are very important.”

Me : I feel the pain in her voice because I know how she agrees for marriage just for her parent’s sake, and respect.

I know how it feels when all you want is to make your parents happy and not want to disrespect them.

I too in a damn phase where I literally want my parents just to be stress-free from my side, but I failed many times and yes I am unlucky enough.

But every single day my prayers are only for my family happiness.

Ah, bad habit of mine;

I always poke my story in between others.

And its 7’0 clock, wow we talk, we sleep and we don’t know what happens at the rest of the night.

Let me call her now and ask whether Mr.Rehan come or not,

Umm phone is busy.

Maybe she is busy…

Let’s move on.

2 months later

Hey, it’s being a long time we met,

No calls, No messages, Is life being that busy after marriage?

… ( Silence)

Hey, miss, I am asking you ?

… ( Silence)

It’s Worst, more than busy (She reply)

Me : I look at her ,

She looks, I don’t know where.

Me : Are you okay?

No, I am not!

I pass the biscuit, hopefully she takes.

“I am in trouble” …

Me : Aah, No, Not again,

I remember that night scenario.

( I mumbling inside)

Me : Babe, what are you talking I don’t get it, will you please elaborate.

Now, I am tensed because I notice that the tears wouldn’t wait for that long in her eyes.

I take her hand and ask her to be calm.

“Rehan is not loving me.”

… ( Me : numb)

I am collecting words and just about to say…

But she starts sudden and I think that it’s important to flush out all her frustation or points first.

Me : Say everything to me starting from that night , babe ?!

He is not actually paying attention to me,

That day I sleep in between our talk but the whole night he didn’t come till the morning.

And at 10 a.m he came and sits beside me and I can’t keep my anger inside and ask where are you whole night?

And in a very calm way , he said – Sorry it’s my mistake and I literally mean it.

Me : Wtf …

And after listening to this, my so-called emotional heart says it’s okay, but where you have been?!

And he says with friends.

I am looking in his eyes and says – like seriously friends?!

And he says sorry, I am coming on time but they gave me excess of drink and I am not in my senses.

I am numb at that time.

And as with hours, my angerness flew away and that night we do what we suppose to do on our first night.

Me : Sudden my irritation starts – then what’s the problem?

What’s the trouble?

Me : It’s okay babe, it’s not good, even acceptable but he says sorry and you both spend quality time after that.

Where is the problem babe?!

… ( Silence)

And so the frustration burst and tears rolling down…

Me : Hey, please stop.

Sorry, I am here, here to listen, please don’t cry babe, don’t.

“My life is ruined.”

(And my negativity attack again)…

Is he lie to her?!

Is he is with some other girl?!

(Omg, Omg.)

He is not in love with me.

I am only there to cook, to listen to all those harsh words of his family, Just to sweep the floor, to do every fucking things but still he loves someone else.

(This hurting, but this is also a harsh truth and reality of these days.

I don’t know why the commitments being so fake these days.)

Me : Babe, you know who the girl is ?!

No.

Me : Okay.

He always seems busy in calling his friends, many times he comes late at home or when mistakenly he comes on time then he goes to his friend who lived near our house.

Me : Dont you ask to his friend that what’s the matter ?!

With tears in her eyes , she said –

Yes, one day I went to his neighbourhood friend and ask why Rehan daily spent most of the time there, his friend says nothing.

& then I said that because of you my married life spoils, nothing left.

please stop calling him to your house.

And from that day Rehan did not talk properly or even eat, sleep and work properly.

I suffered a lot, week by week his distance and the same routine killing me, I can’t handle anymore & then I went to his friend house again and beg him to talk to Rehan and come home as well.

Everything is right from that day, but as usual like from starting.

He is not a normal guy, he is so into his friends.

I think it’s too late, I need to go.

Me : ( Numb) Yeah okay.

Thanks for listening.

Me : I am here for you till my last breath.

I know.

Me : Soon I can find a solution to this.

No, I already try every single thing and attract him and talk to his parents, but they all blame me and said I am the one who spoils his son’s life.

Well, It’s my parent’s decision and I have to obey it.

Me : Hmm, I understand, parents on priority.

Hmm, “He is gay” or I dont know what & I am pregnant. Maybe soon everything changes.

… ( Me : Numb)

Take care will meet soon.!

*-*-*

This incident break me,

One bad decision ruined my friend’s life fully.

Feeling touched, In pain but I can’t do anything.

Why every single time women only suffer, why men can’t understand or see the responsibilities a women carry till her last breath for him and for his family.

This hurts me!

But I frankly writes this and believe that again my this piece of writing saves one’s life in future.

P.S – Don’t give your daughter in a wrong hand or just in a hurry or anywhere without thinking because it is not about a single soul who deals with all negativity alone but the whole family suffers in future!

๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒธ

Respect women.

Do care of your mate or dont marry to spoil one’s life.

“A woman is a goddess and I am proud to be the one.”

๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒธ๐ŸŒธ

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KABIR SINGH ~ ( A poignant love story ) … โœ

Movies are reflection of our society- Yes, but is it right to judge every single fucking thing with reality ?! ๐Ÿ˜ผ

For me it is definitely NO! ๐Ÿ˜พ

KABIR SINGH after Gully Boy,

I thing this is the second movie of this year which touches my soul like very deeply & about the main character Shahid Kapoor, SPEECHLESS!!! โค

Awesome days are not always planned they just plan randomly and leave behind a beautiful memory.

Left the cinema hall after experiencing 2 hrs 55 mins of an emotional roller coaster of ~ KABIR & PREETI.

Passion, Rage, Intensity, Respect, Possessiveness, Love, and devastation;

A Violent yet poignant love story, through the eyes of a man, who experiences it all.

Shahidkapoor you have left me numb ! ๐Ÿ˜ถ

Thou the female part played by Kaira is not much to talk about, but she aka preeti done her job perfectly โค

Yes, it is true that females suffers a lot in every kind of situations but to judge a character by a movie and keep chanting that this movie have a negative impact on society, it is just a fully rubbish.If you feel in this way then get the fuck off, because I don’t care at all ๐Ÿ’

I May need a few hours to sit and think and crying and construct my thoughts around how I feel about #kabirsingh and #preeti or how I can feel about some of the emotions which seems so true to me ๐Ÿ˜ญ

I feel so connected throughout the movie because it’s so bloody damn good! ๐Ÿ’˜

  • 4.5/5 โญ from my point of view.

Note :- There are may be those kind of people exist or may be not, May be the character is dark, negative and full of masculinity but it’s his love story and you seems to watch it from is view not from you own fucking so called mindset as his story is not an inspirational, society changing movie.

A must watch movie ๐Ÿ™‚

STFU to all negative comments, This movie, This actor and the whole cast and crew wow what a pro , Congratulations to you โค

Why I write ?! … โœ

For me ? For you ? For whom ? โœ

Well, all those who write are divided into two different situation of minds-

  • Some days we write to express – joy, sadness, hatred, depression, spirituality, religion etc. Different mood swings turned into thoughts that are right here in front of our eyes and we write them.
  • Other days we just like to vomit out all our frustration just to attain inner peace.

But “For me writing is a kind of leisure or escape from boredom” โœ

When there are unlimited words to read, my own thoughts are often difficult to find them. They need something to rely on.

Essentially writing separates my mind from my own reality & creates a path that takes a journey to the person that will read it.
I am not crazy , I just can’t let my heart settle in a cage and waiting for someone to free it up.

I write:-
For companionship.
For love.
For anger.
For happiness.
For fear and many more.

Soon you will get all the tastes of my writing ๐Ÿ™‚

I remember being eight years old and the only thing I wanted was a number of diaries with me but not just any dairy, I wanted a personal diary with the lock and key ๐Ÿ˜…

I was always embarrassed like I would have been made fun of for keeping a diary and what if my family read it ๐Ÿ˜€ They probably kill me after seeing all the shit I write in , I scared, scared a lot ๐Ÿ˜ถ That’s why I put it in a secret place or inside a bundle of clothes because I knew that no one gonna is to find it soon.

I have always had anxiety , because when expectation from a person can’t fulfill, it hurts, it literally hurts.

So making friends was something I wasn’t really interested in doing.

For years a pen & paper was my only friend.

My writings are not like that good or neither I write something that valuable thoughts but I write and copy all type of “poetry” , “Shayari” , and all melo “romantic poem” on that diary ๐Ÿ˜† Silly me.

But as I got older I realized I’m actually pretty good in writing.

And with time I grew and write more or copy silly things & I am comfortable with leaving my notebooks in the open and find myself wanting to let people read my story and laugh on it, because from the starting of my youth I always want to make people laugh, no matter how depressed I am but when it’s come to people I always want them to be happy ๐Ÿ˜Š #KeepSmilingpals

๐ŸŒป I was born emotional, wild and cheerful and sometimes I need to write to let my chaos go away.
That is the aroma of my inner freedom which is in search of people to smell it. ๐ŸŒป

โ™จ All I want to spread the light of the words that changes into the flames and direct hit your soul and made you a better person ๐Ÿ‘ผ

I was always willing to burn for everything that I ever loved, I am & my writing are always stand for the right things โœ

That’s why I forgetting about what is polite or proper or something false to explore about me , I prefer what is sincere and honest more , and I present myself as what i am , I swear.

Let me lead you through the labyrinth of my true words.
I am not interested in pleasantries even my writings are not ephemeral,

I want you to let take a dive into but it doesn’t mean I force you to read, as i already say my writing is my own ugly truth and you are not bound to read everything ๐Ÿ˜Š but if in case our reality do conflicts then I wish you to read my sayings at least one time or If you want something to read then its my pleasure if you choose my words, lets take a ride and get lost to the world of mine, make your own reality and do not blame me for that ๐Ÿ˜›

Because we all are master to our life and its up to us that how we see others reality ๐Ÿ™‚ and upto which level how we put trust into someone’s else words.

๐Ÿฆ I am a twittering bird ๐Ÿฆ Feed me through like and comments & please do not try to kept me in cage.

I wanna fly ๐Ÿฃ & I want you to fly ๐Ÿฅ

Keep reading and write more.

Do not keep your words in cage.

Let join hands and make this world a better place.

~ me and my words.

๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ Love from India ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ณ

๐ŸŒž Keep shining ๐ŸŒž

Sunshine blogger :-)

It was unbelievable that within a short passage of time someone nominated me for the Sunshine Blogger Award.

The Sunshine Blogger award is โ€œgiven by bloggers to bloggers who inspire positivity and creativity in the blogging communityโ€. I was nominated by BiggerThanMeMovement-> https://biggerthanmemovement.com Please make sure you stop through to read his contentโ€ฆ

& Follow him while youโ€™re riding over there & I promise you will NOT regret to being there ๐Ÿ™‚

His posts are amazing and touched my heart deeply . More importantly- bigger than me movement had the courage to share his experiences but Moreover he/she read carefully and try to understand others perspective also with a melted heart. The comments of his/her on my posts are full of gratitude and genuine.

I love when someone appreciate my writing and try to suggest me to write better.

Therefore, I do and will always cherish my very first Sunshine Blogger Award & I am grateful for you biggerthanmemovemnt to choose me.

I am a newbee here on this platform but my writing are with me travelling all along.

Soon will update more powerful article to you & through my writings I always try to make people’s lives better .

Well , in this short lapse I receive many likes and comments from many of the bloggers and every likes and comment of your are very close to my heart.

With a whole lot of sincerity in my heart- I would like to thank (and nominate) the following bloggers for being so instrumental in my growth as a blogger:-

Please go through these links and read their words ๐Ÿ˜Š ๐Ÿ‘‡

Biggerthanmovement

https://wp.me/paCMfr-aM

Copypowerblog

https://wp.me/p7NYv9-r5

inspirechange27

https://wp.me/pa3bzq-je

Hangsika

https://wp.me/paPxMt-k

Writingmyheartout

https://wp.me/pa90m3-ef

Thoughtyone

https://wp.me/pac3yq-3Q

Sameerauthor

https://wp.me/paOAz6-1w

Anamikaisblogging

https://wp.me/p9tn5G-fc

Baffled mum

https://wp.me/p9CjaV-z2

Amankumar

https://wp.me/p9oUnz-bi

Indian first

https://wp.me/p8lxlu-8Y

Award Rules:

Thank the blogger and provide a link to their site.

Put Award logo on your blog.

Nominate the others.

She is gone & now it’s your time (part 2) … โœ

Dear Depression,

I can almost see you when I stare deep into their eyes.

I see the pain they hold deep within. They have seen better days but you ๐Ÿ™‚ oh my dear, you just swept them away and keep them in real quick.

Came in like a ghost, creeping in when nobody dared to put their wings up…

You didn’t come alone though.

You, yes you, of course, you invited everyone to the hell party in which they never wanted to be IN.

Anxiety, fear, failures all are standing at a corner talking about how the next hell party will be like.

Depression you stand at the door inviting others IN.

While they are forced to stand there and keep supporting you but behind you, they talk with each other about the truth – the truth that they don’t like being there at your party to kill someone without noise.

They have made a point to me over and over that they have genuinely wanted to leave but you still sucking them in deeper and deeper into your deep hell hole.

They laugh on the outside but they cry deeply, screaming but nobody hears them at the hell party.

They tell me how lonely they are standing to support you but I am always by there side and wonder how this could be if they are not going to support you.

Perhaps anxiety and fears know their host and for them, I am not a good a company – I think to myself.

Anxiety holds there hostage inside their head.

They build a fort around themselves to prevent invasion.

Sleeping with the lights on so they don’t lose themselves in the dark and scary nights.

But depression, you are already darkness in their life.

Insecurities flow like a river so they prefer to stay out of harm.

They constantly look over their shoulder while walking down the streets.

Asking how they look every single time to everyone’s who looks at their way and although they are pretty they don’t think much of themselves.

They are just the years old they never imagined to be.

In fact, they had imagined their whole life a lot different and now they are that one who has a whole lot of issues and problems ๐Ÿ™‚

They have become a stranger to their own self and only they can find the light at the end of the tunnel but you the bloody depression, you never want them to find the tunnel end.

Depression oh you depression, you have taken them through this roller coaster of emotions and just when they think the coast is clear, there you are again!

Surprise! I insist you leave them alone and I know they must want it too, but you the hell keep them with you.

Your existence may mean nothing to the world,
Yet your existence means everything to them who welcoming and let you in and destroying them completely…

O depression you are great, you take many lives but now I will not let you take the life of other’s one.

I swear to you, I keep standing with all those who are dealing with you

Believe me, I kill you without noise,

I show you the way out of my own one’s life.

P.S:- Congratulations to the people who read this. I wish this article End the phase of all negative thoughts and give you the new beginning.

As I always say -> power_to_you.

Cheers! ๐Ÿ™‚

She is gone (part 1) … โœ

Whenever she calls me she always smiles, She smiles at the fullest.

We talk not just for ten or twenty minutes but our talks takes at least one complete hour.

I am amazed that how she hide her pain inside her talks and try to make me laugh.

She is my one and only best friend who knows me very well and for her I probably am the one.

But the worst thing about me is that I prefer to message instead of calling and she hates that.

Still in a month she calls me with herself and shouts on me that why I didn’t call but after listening to my old dialogues she starts talking with me and then I share my happenings with her.

She is different yes she’s…

The way she discusses her problem with me and looking for a perfect solution from my side is always making us close.

Her voice clearly reveals the truth that whether she is happy or not but when I insist her to say she hesitate to share – because sometimes I literally do busy in my own stuff which gives her a sense that I am not genuinely interested in her happenings, but that’s the half-truth because I never want her to be in pain and she knows that.

I always tell her to talk to more people and enjoy the goodness of social media to keep herself busy,

Because being alone and being only with a family, partner, and some friends is not a good idea,

One needs to explore the goodness in people and share his/her feelings, but she never understand & backfires me with the saying that I (me) feel bored to talk to her so I say that to talk to others,

and again that is not the truth, I simply share the things with people, which helps me to make myself and themselves better.

But generally people take good things in negative ways, they think that the person who gives something or share something is for sure having some secret agenda or it is nonsense to adopt, sometimes maybe it is the reason but sometimes it is not for sure & for me its perfectly not for sure,

But she knows about my anxiety,

She knows how I cry in between talks when in pain, and she always console me by saying the same to me that stay away from negativity, but she doesn’t know why I didn’t call her many times – because sometimes her negativity very easily transfer into mine.

So, I talk less to make both of us feel better but I helping her whenever she interact with me because Some people in our lives are truly wanted our happiness like family which generally played a negative role in many of the children and in my friend live too, but I know her family wants her good but she didn’t feel it,

She thinks they don’t understand her,

Her age is twenty-five now and I feel the same anxiety when my family keep chanting daily to marry, but the difference in between her and me is that she smiled and keep her anxiety inside and do not share her interest and thoughts with her family but I do,

I do talks to my family no matter what kind of thoughts but I say what I want to because I have a belief that my parent never wants anything bad for me and I told her to talk at least few things bad to her family but at least spit out.

But she always makes her family happy by sayings jokes and all but never tries to talk to them about her dislikes.

She is strong but deep inside I know she is weak, I see her pain when she says that her parent searching a groom for her and suddenly from one emotion to other, she laughs and says that if I don’t like him I say “I am sorry you are ugly ” and again we both laugh.

She is awesome.

Well, I am awesome too because I am more outspoken than her when it comes to my dislikes.

But her caring and laughing nature in every negative situation is what makes her beautiful, that is why whenever she calls I spell out all my worries and frustration first and then she do the same, as because it makes her feel that now I am empty and ready to listen to her worries more attentively with a punches of laughs in between.

Last time I remember we talk about many things but the main topic we talk about is sharing and caring.

We both are having the same traits and feeling in this, we want our family and loved one’s happiness more than others and that doesn’t mean that we both want bad for others but we try to make our family’s proud first and I think that is the most prominent and important thing in our life.

But she always said that I give and give and give but I didn’t get and I know what she means, I know.

Every creature on this earth want affection and when the person only gives her love, power, time to others and didn’t get back all this for a long time, he/she feels habitual but deep inside her heart is not working fully.

And that is the truth and I mean it.

I know how it feels when your expectations are not fulfilled many times.

I know how she feels when she said why God is not listening to my prayers, why not for a single time.

I don’t know what exactly she refers to because our problems are much more in counting than our happiness.

But I always said to her that everything happens for good and will soon happen, let yourself make belief to this, and she interrupts me with a loud and serious mode that no, not with everyone.

I see all those negative vibes she is in prison with.

I didn’t meet her for almost a decade but our calling section is enough to understand each other because somehow we both are related.

I can’t do much for her by sitting far but all I do everything for her to get out of this situation.

I told her to keep all her negative thoughts beside and replace it with positive thoughts but she laughs again and said to me that stop being childish, but this time I shout more than her and in a serious way …

( & for a second I go back to the time when how my love always said me this on a daily basis to stop imagining all the negative scenarios in mind and make the mood worst for the things which never going to happen, I laugh but he diagnose my problem of anxiety and always supports me and show me the affection just opposite of the negativity I have, but the processes of making imagination worst is continuing but today’s the change in me is not easily seen by everyone but the change is definitely in me, I do fight with my demons on a daily basis and replace my negatives with positives. )

I told her that when you can imagine the negative so easily then why can’t you challenge yourself to imagine positively, and she laughs and said because it never gonna happen.

& again I can’t slap on the phone, So I calmly said to her that do it one or two times daily for me as an exercise and then call me.

The chat is over but my mind keeps boggling about the brain game.

Well, the anxiety is a phenomenon phase in human life and people who didn’t understand name it a mental disorder how cool is that, Amazing.

It’s been a month pass even I think two as she didn’t call me, but WhatsApp is still active and she is available there but instead of sending each other quote, morning message and funny texts we didn’t share more or talk more because of my busy schedule.

I know she is waiting for my call but she also knows that she can type a message like she types quote and all those funny memes and laugh in between but I am a bitch she know, I prefer texting over calling.

But after a day passing in betwen the month, I miss her & I want to talk to her but I also have a lots of stuffs and happings in life which I want to share but I can’t,

but the day finally I call her…

Her mother picks the phone and it never happens in a decade when her mother picks the phone.

She is gone.

Gone forever…

I never ever pardon myself for the things which I do or I didn’t do for her.

But that bloody depression kills her & kills her slowly and without noise …

Her laughs are not genuine neither it will be for me.

She is a survivor, She is bold, She is beautiful, She is crazy and I am blessed to have a friend like her & will always have.

To be continued

Friendship or Love ?! How to manage both … โœ

Today I am going through some of my friends posts – posted that its better to have friends than to have a lover.

But still they prefer sex , they prefer late night talks , they want someone to stand by , they want to lean on someone special …

The real question I want to ask to those is that – Like whether you want sex with friends or with someone or like what kind of relationships you want

I don’t understand those people like if all those things are also your necessity than why you compare friends and lover on the same scale.

*My posts is truly about how to manage friendship and love at the same time*

Love means not only a physical bonding in between two, But it also means that you can share a enormous exchange of thoughts with each other both physically , mentally and conceptually.

But why there is a need of friends?

The answer is simple – Friends are not actually physically closed but they are the part of our life and our growth for sure.

Sometimes we can’t tell many a secrets to our lover because we scared of their reaction or because we think if we tell them the truth , may be they become sad & at that time a true friend need is indeed – To talk To share or To spend some good as well as bad things with them because they don’t have that much expectations to us like our lover.

But what if you ignore your loved ones just because of your friends?

& share all your life experiences with friends like it is to be personal , professionals included all and every single thing.

& what about when mostly of your time you only share with your friends gossiping & intimating with them?

& unwantedly you put a banner of friendship on your head and run around a world with your friends?

& when you came by your lover then becoming like sad all the time or if you are happy because of your friends than try to make your lover also happy that time?

Do you think this way a relationship work in between two parties ?

Do you think this is completely right as to be that much closer to your friends than to your lover?!

Well , for me – Lover is not only for sex or to keep them privately so that no one can know that you are committed but also they have some respect “do give them” , show the world that as like friends they are also the important part of life…

& if you can manage your life in this way then why the mishaps arisings .

Think in that way

And respond to me if you think I write correctly.

For me I think one cannot measure every relationship on the same scale & Everything needs a proper way to lean on.